when life's problem seems so tight
we're both caught up with all our might
still i choose to put aside mine
help you carry for infinite time
this is all for one purpose and cause
that is to show how much i love you.
-mel
yes i wld gladly put down my problems, becoz you showed me what it was really like to love the unlovable. to even find one true fren in itself is a blessing. but for me, i got double blessings. i have 2. =)
when i look at you, my problem seem so minute, so unimportant anymore.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
goodbye past, hello future.
goodbye past, you've had me twirling in your hands for 7 years.
i've got enough of getting bocked down by you.
it's high time i moved on. to where i see myself serving God faithfully, with greatness as a calling upon my life.
anger, bitterness, it's time u went as well. u've been a part of me, but i have to say goodbye as well, becoz you are hindering me in my walk with God. frm my service in the Lord.
it's time i said hello to my future, waiting for me patiently. i've kept it waiting for the longest of time. i cannot let it wait anymore. its faithfulness is not gonna be in naught.
im starting afresh today. and this will be the end of immature Mel, and the start of the mature mel. so past, bitterness, anger dun come back, if you want the better of me.
i've got enough of getting bocked down by you.
it's high time i moved on. to where i see myself serving God faithfully, with greatness as a calling upon my life.
anger, bitterness, it's time u went as well. u've been a part of me, but i have to say goodbye as well, becoz you are hindering me in my walk with God. frm my service in the Lord.
it's time i said hello to my future, waiting for me patiently. i've kept it waiting for the longest of time. i cannot let it wait anymore. its faithfulness is not gonna be in naught.
im starting afresh today. and this will be the end of immature Mel, and the start of the mature mel. so past, bitterness, anger dun come back, if you want the better of me.
Monday, March 23, 2009
tired out.
physically tired.
mentally tired, so am i.
i guess, there are many issues to deal with right now.
struggling with meeting deadlines for my assessments, with my own jealousy issue, with anything and everything else, and maybe that's why struggling so hard. i pray for strength to come and empower me. well, if i cld push all these things aside, heck, i would. and tt means running away from it. but i figured it wld take a longer cycle out. but oh well. a vicious cycle.
if it means.
my soul is crying out. i seem to go no where, no breakthrus in my life. i am praying and hoping for one. oh God, wont u hear my cry? wont you embrace me once again as i return to you? Jesus i love you. may my songs be glorifying to you, may i sing/ compose because of you.
mentally tired, so am i.
i guess, there are many issues to deal with right now.
struggling with meeting deadlines for my assessments, with my own jealousy issue, with anything and everything else, and maybe that's why struggling so hard. i pray for strength to come and empower me. well, if i cld push all these things aside, heck, i would. and tt means running away from it. but i figured it wld take a longer cycle out. but oh well. a vicious cycle.
if it means.
my soul is crying out. i seem to go no where, no breakthrus in my life. i am praying and hoping for one. oh God, wont u hear my cry? wont you embrace me once again as i return to you? Jesus i love you. may my songs be glorifying to you, may i sing/ compose because of you.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
going down.
things for me has been going down.
so much so that i am fearful of coming into God's presence. even asking for forgiveness, coz i have sinned, time and again, asked for forgiveness time and again. i realy dun wana take God for granted. i really dun wana keep going and ask for forgiveness. i say im sry. i wont do it again, still i do it, time and again. but God's faithfulness nv fails. He is faithful even tho i am unfaithful.
i am really worried for hoon. i jus heard frm hong tt she has been admitted to hospital. i am jus wondering, why is it tt jus when her life is beginning to see some light, this had to happen yet again? why? frankly, i rather the one in hospital is me. becoz she has suffered enough and definitely doesnt deserve something like tt thrown at her. but yet i ask myself, have i done my part, or is it that becoz of my past hatred/ bitterness, i am suffering the consequence of my actions. i guess now a sorry would be too late. the harm has been done. i really miss the old hoon. becoz if time cld turn back, i would not let myself do such a thing to my best friend. i really wana show to her how much she has impacted my life, before hong took over, it was the toughest time both hoon and me. i was struggling with bitterness/ hatred/resentment. she was struggling with helping me and loving me the way i am. and jus becoz she has impacted me, i am unable to forget the goodness, the love of this particular friend, who loved me and nv gave up on me even when everyone else had., standing up for me when others question why does she wana be my friend. no doubt. she is a really great friend. and i love her.
so much so that i am fearful of coming into God's presence. even asking for forgiveness, coz i have sinned, time and again, asked for forgiveness time and again. i realy dun wana take God for granted. i really dun wana keep going and ask for forgiveness. i say im sry. i wont do it again, still i do it, time and again. but God's faithfulness nv fails. He is faithful even tho i am unfaithful.
i am really worried for hoon. i jus heard frm hong tt she has been admitted to hospital. i am jus wondering, why is it tt jus when her life is beginning to see some light, this had to happen yet again? why? frankly, i rather the one in hospital is me. becoz she has suffered enough and definitely doesnt deserve something like tt thrown at her. but yet i ask myself, have i done my part, or is it that becoz of my past hatred/ bitterness, i am suffering the consequence of my actions. i guess now a sorry would be too late. the harm has been done. i really miss the old hoon. becoz if time cld turn back, i would not let myself do such a thing to my best friend. i really wana show to her how much she has impacted my life, before hong took over, it was the toughest time both hoon and me. i was struggling with bitterness/ hatred/resentment. she was struggling with helping me and loving me the way i am. and jus becoz she has impacted me, i am unable to forget the goodness, the love of this particular friend, who loved me and nv gave up on me even when everyone else had., standing up for me when others question why does she wana be my friend. no doubt. she is a really great friend. and i love her.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
KUKUP!!!
IM BACK FRM KUKUP!!
4D3N OF NOT BEING ABLE TO BATHE IN A SPACIOUS TOILET WHOO!
HEHEHE...
i enjoyed my kukup trip. i bunked with junzhu, susan and angella. funny and nice pple..
we played mahjong and monopoly. it was screwed lol..
mahjong on the bed, with a board and only 9 tiles, monopoly paying jus the rent... wahahahha..
bt i enjoyed bunking with them. thks raymond! =)
the toilet and hygiene there is very dirty tho.
SO HOT!!!!! I GOT SUNBURN!!!!bt junzhu gave me lotion.. lol... so nice right?
well, pros vs cons.
singapore: clean,spacious but scheming.
kukup: dirty, squeezy but simple.
kukup, i miss u.
i will be back. =)
4D3N OF NOT BEING ABLE TO BATHE IN A SPACIOUS TOILET WHOO!
HEHEHE...
i enjoyed my kukup trip. i bunked with junzhu, susan and angella. funny and nice pple..
we played mahjong and monopoly. it was screwed lol..
mahjong on the bed, with a board and only 9 tiles, monopoly paying jus the rent... wahahahha..
bt i enjoyed bunking with them. thks raymond! =)
the toilet and hygiene there is very dirty tho.
SO HOT!!!!! I GOT SUNBURN!!!!bt junzhu gave me lotion.. lol... so nice right?
well, pros vs cons.
singapore: clean,spacious but scheming.
kukup: dirty, squeezy but simple.
kukup, i miss u.
i will be back. =)
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