urgh

if u think by doing this, it makes u happier, ure wrong.
u only make us shun you. u only make me feel more disgusted.
u only make me despise u.
like she is so nice to u. how cld u say that of her?
if u think u can get away, dream on.

cringing pain

why???
i often ask God why?
he allowed this to happen.
my heart is cringing. i'm totally in pain.
pain that is indescribable.
tears welling up my eyes.
i told myself: Melody Goh, you're not to cry! stop it! stop crying.
still the tears came raining down the moment i heard hong's voice.
im trying to be strong. i really am. strong front that has already become part of me.
a habit hard to kick. i lie not coz i want to, but coz it's already part of me.
stop pushing me. either u support me or u dun. im already at a corner. stop pushing me.

i fear.

welcome to my blog.
after so long of not blogging, i am so out of touch from blogging.
i decided to blog because i hate the fact of expressing myself openly.
i decided this will be the place i rant. this will be the place i will express my inner tots and life.

i wonder why my life is so my life.

i lost it, i blew it.
my dreams i screwed it.
regrets, i do indeed
it is the knitter at work
to ensure the finest piece
to present to the master

-Melody Goh

This is the poem that expresses how i feel right now.
yes, i blew it.
yes i screwed it.

all i need, is time to heal, to deal with my issues.
nothing more and nothing less.
my mentor- stupid geek is helping me.
all about me, she knows it all.