break free

okie, i guess.. this holiday is not to be enjoyed at all.
the lecturers called me in. Mr Boo, Mr Zhang, Mr Chiew n Raymond. they sat me down, asked me questions. they gave me projects of which i gotta complete by 5 jan 2009. what i got was, i got E for all 3 of my major modules. okie, i was like.. okies, i'll do it. i cld not show the sadness on my face. i din want my parents to know. i din want them to keep bugging me.
but well, i dunno who to talk to or what to say. well, i hate to say this, but frankly... why am i doing all these? sigh.
i have decided to love bryan, after gg thru all the torment. coz i wana be set free and move on. i wana rise up, be the musician who's heart is after God.
so, jiayou mel.. u've got lots to handle. but God will hold your hand and walk with u thru. this is your assurance. He will lift u up and nv let u down :)

complete in You

rushing assessments. i never saw myself that hardworking b4.never. but well... assessments are over, hols are here, but cant seem to experience that joy n excitement. only worries n sian-ness.
afterall, i cant run away forever. i gotta face it even tho i dread it. here i am oh God.
thank God for samuel padolina. he introduced this song. complete. man, that was the song in season for me. so as i spend time in God's presence, i pray God will heal me and make me whole, that he will enable me to face bryan and love him like a friend. even tho, it is a sensitive part of me, yes it is, but seriously, get over it mel and rise up. u cant keep falling like that. i will rise up someday. somehow... we will see how God will deal with your arrogance. now is my season, so i will face it and let God mold me.

here i am oh God
i bring this sacrifice
my open heart
i offer up my life

i look to you Lord
your love that never ends
restores me again

so i lift my eyes to you Lord
in your strength will i breakthru Lord
touch me now
let your love fall down on me
i know your love dispels all my fears
thru the storm i will hold on Lord
and by faith i will walk on Lord
then i'll see beyond my calvary one day
and i will be complete in you.

jiayou mel!

counting down to assessments...
rushing projects and everything... manz.. it's crazy..
i'm seriously stressed. i realised i've nv been so serious bout sch.
i ask myself: issit coz of problems i faced in church tts why im running away, turning to school instead? i really dunno. all i know is that im really to focus.. focus mel.
dun let anything pull u down. u've come thus far. 2nd yr in nafa alrd. cannot afford to give up now.
can a big apology change anything? NO, it cant.. what u inflicted upon me is definitely more than jus an emotional wound. it is also a physical and mental wound, one i'll never forgive. i forgave u so many times, but u hurt me time and again and with each time more serious the hurt. you'll never read this blog post. now, go away. get out of my life. i hate you. i loved u with all my heart, no matter how many times, i still forgave. now, u've totally broken my heart. now, go.

your arrogance will kill u.

i enjoyed seeing ure arrogance teared last night.
i hate to see u being arrogant carrying that guitar walking here and there.
i hate it even more when i asked u to stop and u did not!
so get off. u came to this oikos to wreak havoc in my life.
respect others and do not always do what u like.
dun. dun make me deflate your arrogance myself. dun.
i'm facing so much in my life and i do not need you to add on further.
i hate your arrogance. i really do. now dun make me hate you.
dun try.
go away. stop flaunting ure skills. your passion has turned into show off, a kind of performance to me. dare u say that u only wana serve God? oh please. u can lie to mui teck and the rest. u can even lie to yourself. but u can never lie to God. He knows the condition of your heart. wana rise up? here'a a piece of advice. stop being arrogant. that's my piece my advice. probably even shit to you. but hell.. u probably wont even see this post anyway. im not intending for it anyway. so yeah...
let's wait and see.
smirk.

tiring.... ANGRY!!!

it's been a long and tiring week.
as u pple know, MELODY NEVER DOES STAY BACK IN SCH! time's up, okie u see no more of me.. but this week, MELODY STAYED BACK IN SCH TILL 10 FRM MONDAY TO THURS!!!okies, it was tiring. but i know it was all for the better for my assessment which is in 2 weeks time.
and what spurred me on was, my dearest nafa friends! Jun Zhu, Susan, Yang Jie, Yip Kai, Angella.. they were really great friends. spurring me on jus guiding me, this martian friend of theirs... simply love u guys manz! :)
assessment is nxt week and it is killing me... but no worries, i will go thru it. :)

and you!!! how dare u say 对牛谈琴！！！HOW DARE YOU??! U ARE TALKING TO A PERSON WHO KNOWS GUITAR AND KEYBOARD. EXCUSE ME, U FREAK!!!! who do u think u are?? leaving your mess for US to clear?? jus get the hell off nafa. sucker!!!